Sunday 14 July 2024
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Are You Tired of Mosquito Bites?

Are You Tired of Mosquito Bites?

I hate mosquitos. They love me. It is because they love me so much that I hate them. I am a smorgasbord of deliciousness for mosquitos and they seek me out for feasting. I dread stepping outside because I know that somehow, by the time I have been outside for more than 10 seconds, a mosquito beacon has gone off and lured the bugs to my body. I am not entirely unconvinced that there is a homing system built into my skin.


I was at my friend house the other day. He and his wife were telling me about the new misting system that they have in their yard. They told me that by having this in their yard, it had virtually eliminated mosquitos as well as ticks. They could have barbecues and picnics or their kids could play in the yard and no one had to worry about the painful and itchy bites that would have to be taken care of afterward.

I, of course, with my subcutaneous built-in homing device for mosquitos, did not believe them. My friend showed me the app on his phone that enables him to control the system. He showed me on the app:

-Where the sprayers are located
-The patterns of spray that he and his wife found fit best for their yard
-The current solution level

He could remotely control the level of solution that was sprayed into the yard. I was still quite skeptical about it. Sure, it sounded good. It was basically a giant can of mosquito repellent that was being sprayed into the yard but the bottles of mosquito repellent and I had gone the rounds before: and lost. He dared me to try it.

I went outside. I waited for the invisible homing signal to bring on the swarms of mosquitos. Five minutes and nothing had happened. Then ten minutes. To my amazement, there were no mosquitos jockeying for position on my skin. How could this be? I felt a tingle of excitement, a minute possibility that I could finally go outdoors and enjoy myself without the annoying itchiness and bites.

This system was too good to be true. I was sure of it. I quizzed my friend about where he got it and who installed it. He said that the system had been installed by professionals. “What about over the winter? Won’t you have to pay big bucks to get it winterized?”. Nope. It was all taken care of for such a reasonable amount.

I am definitely getting this installed in my yard. Friends: who wants to come have a barbecue? It’ll be at my house this time… outside.